you know... my first instinct is to run to him and tell him that i love him and i miss him and i cant be without him. but i cant, and it hurts so much to know that its possible that i'll never be able to hug him or kiss him or tell him that i love him ever again. i hate this so much i feel like im gonna colapse. i cant stop crying and i dont want to leave him and i dont want to him to leave me...i miss him so much its almost unbarable and its not even been a day yet...i dont know what to do anymore. i feel so lost why is it that when im at my happiest i get kicked in the face...and i end up at rick bottom again. i thought i was gonna die driving back to my parents house last night i kept swerving into the other lane cuz i couldnt control my tears anymore...i dont know if i can take much more of this pain...oh goddess help me.